ゲイの類人猿と仏教思想
今朝といえばいいのかな、夢の中に大学時代の先輩が現れた。滋賀県にある美術館を訪れ、そこのレストランかミュジーアムショップかどっちかわからないが、どちらかの端っこのスペースで、だったように思う。一度もお会いしたことのない先輩なのに、なぜか大学の先輩だと、夢の中で私は気づいていた。谷なんとか、さんだったかな。先輩は、衿無しの茶色のレザージャケットを着ていて、「いいですね、この服」と私が言うと、「これ、制服やねん」という答え。美術館の制服ということだった。
その後、類人猿のようなゲイに抱きつかれる。類人猿といえばいいのかな、映画『猿の惑星』に出てくるような毛むくじゃらの猿で、ものすごい力で羽交い締めにされ、迫られて困った。もう少しで……絶対絶命というとことで目を覚ます。
夢じゃなくて現実の話。歌人、じゃなかった家人とケンカをすると後味がよろしくない。反省。まだまだ修行が足りない。先日、娘と朝に散歩している途中、コンビニエンスストアで出会った、『日経おとなのOFF』という雑誌。「入門 ニッポンの仏教」というタイトルにひかれ購入したが、仕事の合間にページをめくり、いいことが書いてあるなぁと感心する。
農耕社会では「昨日と同じ今日を尊ぶ」価値観に大切にしてきたのに対し、「努力して成長せよ、諦めるな」という考え方には近代プロテスタント的な目的合理主義が色濃く出ている、という文章を目にし、そうなんだよな、経済にとって成長は大切かもしれないけど、成長ばかりを追い求めるのは時にしんどいし、圧迫感を生むんだよな、などと妙に納得。資本主義社会からはなかなか逃げられないが、キリスト教的な考え方と仏教的な思想のバランスが大切なのかもしれない。
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